I realised I have been angry with myself all along,for so many reasons. That explains why I have been kinda depressed and moody throughout this year.Feeling inferior is a fact. I have been trying to be someone else Im not,and I've failed to do it. Im always comparing myself to others and when I fail to meet my own expectations,I get depressed and feels really down.

In the process of growing up,I have almost lost myself,my own personality. Even I have gotten confused and unsure of what I really am inside.

I watched this particular film titled The Rise of the Guardians yesterday with my YEC friends and it got me thinking what is exactly at the core of my heart.

I personally like the Russian doll set that reveals smaller sized dolls within it .As North (the guy playing the Santa Character)opens up the doll one after another,the final doll in the set is seen to have big eyes and Santa then revealed that that is at the core of his heart.

A quote from the movie, "My core is my pair of curious eyes,what is yours?"


Why is it that I want to become a teacher? Beneath what I appear to others,what is it that is within me that ppl do not know of. What are the other sides of me? I have to try to show it to others and not hide them inside of me. Could it be that I'm the one who is hiding myself and preventing others to get to know the real me?


I have a feeling that Im willing to do that for my students. Im willing to become stronger and improve myself in terms of public speaking and social networking in order to benefit my students. I want my students to learn and have fun while learning.

 I for one find it hard to express my feelings. As I grow up in an environment that seldom practises acts of love(simple things like celebrating birthdays together as a family or going out together),as time passes, I have forgotten or do not know how to express it out. I know this is not normal but still.....this is the type of environment I've grown up in.At times,I really feel like shouting out loud to cheer my students on but I just find myself unable to say it out.Im struggling internally.I know if I want to go on the Teacher track,I have to find a way to overcome this internal hurdle. I don't know how to say it out loud,I prefer to express my love through little ways like being patient while teaching or devoting my time to giving extra remedials. It is smth Im lacking in but I will improve myself.

I realised that giving verbal praises is very important and even a simple word of recognition means a lot to a student. It can really encourage them  and motivate them to learn. I used to be shy and stingy even when giving praises to people.But now,I will continue to give praises and even better,more constructive ones to my students as long as it benefits them and makes them happy.At the end of the day,as long as they learn,I will be grateful.

A little simple note of appreciation given by my students can make me happy and spur me on,that I feel at the end of the day and year,it's all worth it. I hold each and every note dearly and well-kept inside my little drawer.


Im Me. I will do it my own way,not imitate how others did it. I will stop dwelling on what Im lacking as compared to others and get on to improving my weakness areas.


This year has been tough. Who can imagine that so much effort has to be put in order to put a classroom under control. A classroom that appears very quiet and students participating actively is actually built upon by the relationships and bonds that the teacher has built with the children. And that is where I have fallen short of. Im kinda poor in socialising with ppl so I find it hard to interact and bond with my students.Initially I thought that the children are well tamed and well-behaved. They are but not until I have tried teaching them by myself.It is not that easy after all. What works for some classes might not work for others. At times,I feel like I have kept certain classes under control but other times,I feel like I totally fail in managing another class. Disheartened? You bet.

My principal has been very kind to me thus far,it is I who has been disappointing myself.

An advice given by the lecturer is to look at the children as though they are a blank piece of paper without all the black dots every single day.It's hard but I will try. For students who always create trouble but they are afterall kids.I hope that one day,my feelings will reach certain students that I've been failing to reach out to.

I want to become smarter,think faster and react quickly. Im gonna try out all the brain stimulating methods


Please answer my prayers...